This is my favorite video of all time
don’t listen to them cody
me: *logs onto tumblr dor com* good morning!
y’all: what’s so good about it, you think capitalism is funny? you think the corns on my toes are a joke? you think the fact that the neighbour smells like chitlins is humorous?? fuck you— youre blind to the horrors of this world!
people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked withi used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in my fucking throat please take your pills with water kiddies it’s worth it
HOLY SHIT OKAY
"Control yourself," whispers the conscience.
"Stop," whispers the wallet.
"Shut up, we’re in a bookstore," whispers the heart.
"your wings are too big"
- Person: *eats pizza with fork and knife*
- Me: my mom said I need to come home right now immediately
Fifty shades of gandalf the grey
bisexual means u only have sex twice. in ur entire lifetime. 2